Monday, January 7, 2008

Third Time's A Charm...Right?

Not for me. I'm the world's worst newborn mommy. My babies are fussy, irritable, and awake all of the time. They require their parents to do cartwheels and circus tricks soothe them and even greater tricks to get them to sleep and that usually only lasts about 45 minutes at the most. And sleeping at night? Forget about it.

I thought Campo was going to break the mold. For the first 3 weeks he's been so sleepy, quiet and easy to soothe. Not anymore...apparently won't be my easy one. Or he will be but just in comparison to my other two...not in comparison to a truly easy baby. He's been showing signs of reflux which my other two had. Me Too had it the worst, poor baby. She suffered for a while too before we realized that the medicine we had her on wasn't working and put her on stronger medicine that worked like a charm. The doctor gave us some samples this time to have on hand in case we needed to start them before we could get a prescription. So, we started them yesterday. They take a few days to kick in. Hopefully they will work and I'll be able to make it that long! He also seems to have suddenly gotten a case of day/night confusion. I remember my other two starting out this way from the very start...not working their way up to it so I'm hoping it's related to the reflux and will clear up with the medicine. Anyway, I got very little sleep last night and am running on fumes right now. He's been sleeping all morning (much to my chagrin) and I'm just praying that I get a nap somehow this afternoon. It's not going to be pretty if I don't!

Before the baby came, I wrote about how in the past I haven't handled the newborn period very well and how I really want to do better this time. I also wrote yesterday about how I have been bombarded by messages from the Lord to seek Him and how I wanted to be more childlike in my pursuit of Him. I have been...and it's helping a lot today. I keep being tempted to freak out and worry obsessively about what the next few weeks will be like with a newborn up all hours of the night and two kids to take care of during the day. But...I keep getting all of these reassuring thoughts and reading blog posts that were written just for me. I've had a very peaceful and calm spirit today. Here are a few things that I've been thinking about or reading and I'm writing them out here as a reference guide to help me remember them...not to imply in any way that I do these things all of the time! I only wish!

*Remembering to live in the present. I learned a lot about this by reading Mother Angelica's Little Book of Life Lessons. She has a whole chapter dedicated to how important it is to live in the present.

God's will is manifested to us in the duties and experiences of the Present Moment. We have only to accept them and try to be like Jesus in them.

If I get wrapped up in thinking about what might happen tonight or over the next few nights, or how tired I will be if I don't get a nap, or how beaten I'll be if Campo keeps crying all the time, I'll get really depressed and start lashing out at those around me. If I live in the Present Moment, and serve God by serving Campo and his needs right now then maybe I won't be too overwhelmed.

*Die to self...this is so important as a parent. It's not about me's about serving the Lord by serving these kids He has entrusted to my care. If I really am honest with myself I can see that the times that I'm impatient with my kids, annoyed by them or unhappy with my domestic life are usually because I am trying to be all about myself and what I want to do or not do at that time. If I step back and remember that this is my calling from God, my job, my ministry and my honor, I can keep a much better attitude. Amy from Epiphany Springs has a GREAT post about this in which she explains her Theme for the Year which is "I get to"...I get to serve the Lord by staying up all hours of the night to feed this baby He gave me to, among other things, nourish and comfort.

*Trust God more. Jen at Et Tu? has a great series of posts (and here and here) where she is realizing that anxiety in her life is caused by not trusting God enough. She has found that when she turns her anxiety over to Him, He shows her the way to work through it. This is what I've been trying to do all day. When I start to feel anxious, I pray and look at all of the great revelations He's given me today - in one day! A day in which my brain is so muddled...He's cleared it enough to think of all of these great nuggets which I'll be printing out and carrying around in front of my face constantly for when I lose my resolve or forget to do all of these things...and I will.

I'd love to hear stories about how you made it through the hard newborn weeks, and months. I'd also love hear stories about how your babies never slept, cried all the time, and wanted to be held constantly...and how you did indeed make it through alive so I can remember how short this time with him is and how much I'll actually miss him being this small!!


nicole said...

Hey Stevie--hang in there. Definitely try to just think about today, not tomorrow or next week. I made myself crazy anticipating the next feeding with my first and was so tense and miserable. I finally let that go. I don't have any specific stories to share, but obviously we survived 3 under 2 and had more! Dying to self is my greatest struggle, as I've written about many times. I'll say a prayer for you.

Stevie said...

Thanks Nicole! Actually, he's been really calm and easy again since the other night. Last night was a breeze. I think he just has nights here and there where he is up more. I start to freak thinking it's going to last forever and then he gets easy again! I just need to chill. You think I would on the 3rd but I guess God's still working on me in that area!