So lately I've been praying the rosary daily! Aren't I good, pious and holy? Oh, well, not really. I usually am not self disciplined enough to actually set aside time from my busy schedule of tv watching, blog and message board reading, and just generally wasting time to pray the rosary daily - no matter how many times I think about doing it. But, these days, my dear little ones are leading me closer to our Mother Mary. How are they doing this? Well, by being little terrors...that's how!
You see, we moved them into a room together a week ago. I knew it was going to be a tough transition and that it would take some time for them to get used to sleeping in the same room. I knew that they wouldn't drift right off to sleep at first and that there would be some playing around for a while. But...I didn't think there would be as much playing, running and jumping as there is or that it would last as late every night as it does. I didn't think we'd have to do as much scolding, bribing and taking away of toys and other pleasures as we have found ourselves doing. I didn't think I'd have such grumpy little girls on my hands each day. It breaks my heart to see Me Too acting ready for a nap at 10am every day and dark circles under her little sweet eyes.
So every day it seems, Doug and I reassess what we're doing, how we're going about this and what to do next. We solicit advice from friends and family. Doug asks coworkers and I go to almost strangers on my message boards. No matter how we start out, every night ends up with me sitting in their room. Since it's dark and I'm usually frustrated and feeling like there is never going to be an end to this transition period, I spend the time praying the rosary (and begging Mary to help me be a better mom!).
It's actually been really nice. I've always been frustrated while praying the rosary because I would struggle with praying the prayers and meditating on the mystery at the same time. That's a lot for my feeble mind to handle. But it seems like that is getting a little easier each time I do it. I also sometimes feel like I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to think about when I meditate on the mysteries but the more I do it, it seems like I am coming up with different things to think about. Or like tonight, I realized that my favorite mystery is the Visitation. I think about how I would like to recognize Jesus every time I come face to face with Him in others. Until I have that conquered, I don't think I want to meditate on anything else for that particular mystery.
So, while I'm really, really, really ready for the time to come when I don't have to sit in the girls' room for them to finally get quiet and drop off to sleep, I sure hope I will be addicted enough to praying the rosary each day to keep it up. I have just never stuck with it long enough to see the results...I think I always gave up to soon!