Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Awful, Horrible Day - Wonderful Life

I had a terrible day today and it just keeps on. It started with my coworker saying something that really hurt my feelings right in front of me and then finding out that she said the same thing and more behind my back. It left me feeling very unappreciated.

It continued with me feeling sad all day because Thursday is my last day with this class. They move on to kindergarten in 3 weeks and I'll never see many of them again. It's funny because they are a pretty wild group and usually drive me insane! But now I'm sad and wishing that there would be some way I could see them in 30 years and know how they turn out.

I'm stressed because in a few weeks we have tons of training and I don't know what I'm going to do with my kids. I hate the idea of paying (a babysitter) to go to work. I have a few more options to pursue but it's all just weighing on the back of my mind.

We got home and Campo was so fussy all the way until we finally put him down extremely early because NOTHING was making him happy.

The icing on the cake is when someone emailed and said they saw me at church this past weekend, that my haircut is cute (okay, that part was nice), and when am I due again? Ugghhh....this is the worst possible timing for someone to ask me this. I've been struggling to lose weight...working so hard. It's just not coming off. I've gone to the doctor to have blood tests done before when not losing weight but looking back on that time now, I know I just wasn't really trying. It was more like I was hoping for an easy way out. This time is different. I've REALLY been trying. I feel so bad about myself, so frustrated and like it is hopeless for me to even try and I'm going to keep being asked when I'm due all the time.

Sorry to be so down. When I think rationally and put my life in perspective, it is VERY good and VERY wonderful. I just needed a place to vent. I think a good cry is in order tonight. Or wine...I think I'll go with the wine option.


Debbie said...

Just saw your post. Hope your week is getting better!

Jessica said...

Oh my gosh.. that is totally rude. I don't care if it was my best friend in the world, I would never ask if she were pregnant until she mentioned it herself. That happened to me about 2 months after Charlie was born. Some lady at Wal-Mart asked me when I was due. I said I already had the baby. She said, "Well it must not have been very long ago." No, only TWO MONTHS.
I think you look great. When I saw you at church, and I thought you looked skinny... seriously.