I just read this article from the American Life League's Celebrate Life magazine and am sitting here in a pool of tears so I'm just warning everyone. It's about a couple who find out that their 3rd child, first daughter, had no kidneys during the 20 week sonogram. This also meant that the baby wasn't generating amniotic fluid causing the lungs not to develop properly. All together, this meant that the baby had all it needed to survive to term in the womb but would not be able to live more than two hours once delivered. Of course they were encouraged to have the pregnancy terminated (nice way to say aborted) but declined. Imagine going through a whole pregnancy, with all of the aches and pains and discomforts knowing that your baby won't live very long after delivery.
There just aren't words for something like this. It's so sad and tragic yet so beautiful and inspirational at the same time. I pray for the strength to bear the crosses of my life as this family did in their darkest hour. My favorite part of this story is when he says he is closest to his baby daughter at Mass when the angels and saints of heaven are present with us at consecration. What a beautiful way to think of his daughter and the Mass. I guess I know that the angels and saints are there with us but never thought of it in terms of people I know personally who have died being there too. When I hear people talk about the saints, I only really think of the biggies, the canonized ones.
As I wrote in my NFP conversion story, I now understand that I probably have several children in heaven that were kept from implanting because of the pill. Even though I know I am forgiven by my Heavenly Father for this sin, it doesn't take away my longing to know these little souls that my husband and I created. I wonder what they would have been like, how much they would've looked like their sisters and brother, and how fun it would be to have a huge family right now. But now I can take comfort in knowing that they are with me each time I go to Mass...it makes me want to go right now!
I encourage you to read the entire article...but I warn you...you will cry.