Sunday, July 1, 2007

Warning: Controversial Topic!!

Okay, I'm exaggerating a bit! It is one of the most asked questions of a pregnant woman and in my past pregnancies, it has proven to be a topic that everyone seems to have an opinion about on both sides. I'm not excluding myself either. I am opinionated about my feelings on the subject as well.

I'm talking about finding out the sex of your baby. It's usually one of the first questions I get and this time I don't know what the answer is! With the girls we found out at the 20 week sonogram and were certain both times that we would find out then. I just couldn't wait! This time, for some reason, I really want to wait until the birth to find out but the practical side of me wants to know now so that I can be prepared. If it's a boy I'll need all new clothes (and I've got grandma's ready to go in that department) and a new nursery. If it's another girl, I can relax because I'm all set! But...I have scheduled c-sections (not shaped right for birthing babies...that's another post for another time) and already know exactly when this little person will be coming (as long as it cooperates with our plans!) so it would be nice to have something that is unplanned on that day.

What's funny is people's reactions to this decision. Everyone seems to have a comments. Usually it's pretty even keeled - either they think it would be fun to wait and see on the day of the birth or they think it would be nice to have it all planned out and ready to go. But some are very outspoken on the topic. When I was pregnant with my first daughter someone asked me if I was going to find out at the sonogram and when I answered yes, an older lady that was standing with us said, "Shame on you, Stevie". I was so in shock that I sort of just ignored the comment at the time but couldn't get it out of my head. I immediately called my deacon dad on the way home and asked him if finding out the sex of the baby early was against the Church's teaching in some way. He said no, absolutely not. So, I tried to forget it...although the fact that I'm writing about it now shows that I haven't completely let it go! On the other side of the equation is a girl I know who is working on #5 (or 6 - I've lost track!) and they always find out early. She loves knowing and thinks it's a blessing that our modern technology allows us to be prepared for the arrival in this way.

So, this brings me to my pet peeve on this topic. It drives me crazy when people ask me, "Are you going to find out or are you going to be surprised"? By surprised they mean are you going to wait until the birth to find out. My stance is that it is a surprise either way - whether you find out at 4 months or 9 months - it's still a surprise. Take my 2nd baby - I was SURE she was a boy. Everything seemed so different from my first pregnancy and I had that "motherly instinct" that just told me it was boy...until the sonogram when my husband announced that it was a girl. How he can make heads or tails of those pictures I have no idea but he said it even before the sonographer did! Don't tell me about surprise - I was in shock! I think it took me a day or two to really switch my thinking around to girl mode!

Whew, I finally got this all off of my chest. I've been thinking about all of this a lot lately because like I said, it's the main question I get over and over. I still haven't come to a conclusion either way on when to find out with this beautiful baby. I have a month before the dr's appointment when I'll have to decide. Ultimately, it doesn't really matter as long as whoever is in there is delivered safe and healthy. If we wait, I'm sure the grandma's will be happy to rush out shopping if it happens to be a boy and friends have already offered hand me downs which I am not opposed to taking one bit! Girl or boy, I just already can't wait to hold this little baby in my arms and kiss it's little face!!


Anonymous said...

I totally agree that it is a surprise, no matter when you find out and its up to you if you want everything in place before they come or's such a wonderful time no matter what!!!

Ashley said...

I also agree that it is a surprise whether it is at 3 months or 9 months. My husband and I were so shocked when we found out our 1st was a girl that we didn't talk the whole way home from the doctor's office. It is hard when you are expecting one thing and it is different than your expectations.

Debbie said...

I loved finding out early. (I pester Tom at Christmastime to tell me what those presents are under the tree -- although he never tells!) With Thomas, we had tears of joy that he was a little boy. With Samantha, we were shocked -- I was convinced we were having a little boy again. My HUGE pet peeve is having someone call my little baby an "It" I hated it and I think that is why I insisted on learning the sex of the baby.