Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Lacking Intimacy

Sarah at Just Another Day of Catholic Pondering wrote a great post about reading Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light over Lent. Yes, Lent. I'm a little behind in sharing my starred posts - sue me. I haven't read this book but have heard all of the clamor of course. What really struck me in this post was when she said
Mother Teresa longed to give it all for Jesus. She made him a special vow, she worked for 45 years with completely no feeling of intimacy with her divine Spouse, she took the hard call and followed where it led.

How many times do we lack that feeling of intimacy with our spouse? What do we do with that void? The world tells us to find something to fill it. Another relationship, food, work, alcohol, drugs, money...and on and on. There is no lack for things to fill that empty space. The alternative is to work through it, pray about it, and offer it up. I think a big reason that there are so many divorces is that people can't work through things anymore. They don't know how to suffer. Everything is supposed to have a quick fix, a fast turn around time.

My husband and I were just talking recently about how we've noticed that we don't get along very well for the first few months that we have a newborn. Being tired, no time for ourselves much less time as a couple, and with our babies, stress from trying to figure out all of the issues like reflux, allergies and whatever else is going on - all of these things add to a lack of intimacy and connectedness. But instead of looking elsewhere to fill this gap, we continue to make that choice day after day to love that each other - even through the hard times. No one ever said marriage life was going to feel good or be easy every day. No one ever guaranteed happiness all the time.

Like Mother Teresa, we need to work through those tough times and offer them up. Look what good she did through the life she offered to Jesus. We need to look to Him - if we feel far from him we have his mother Mary, or the saints who are always ready and willing to help us bridge that gap.

Jesus chose my spouse and children and the life that I have especially for me. The good and the bad, exciting and boring, fun and tedious. It's my life but I'm living it for Him!


nicole said...

Well said Stevie! We are much the same way with new babies, just trying to survive and knowing that we'll reconnect soon. We are going to a Rangers game by ourselves (well, Baby has to go) in a couple of weeks and I can't wait.

Sarah said...

Stevie, don't feel badly about being far behind! Sometimes it takes me months to get my thoughts together too. :)

I really like how you worded this, and you should read the book. As I said in my post, I didn't find it an easy read, but it was definitely worthwhile!

Looking to Jesus...that IS what it's all about! You're so right! :)

Jessica said...

Thanks for that. It was very well said. I don't think I get along well with anybody when there's a newborn in the house. But I get really snappy when overtired!

I agree that marriage is a choice you have to make every day. How much time and effort and emotion you give is up to you. I think of it that I choose to love and stay with my husband every day.