Monday, December 31, 2007

Distractions at Mass

Happy Catholic had a great post about distractions at Mass and she linked to this post by Will Duquette at The View From the Foothills which really spoke to me. Actually it would be more accurate to say that it convicted me. I have long struggled with distractions during the Mass. Before Doug and I had children, we joked that we would probably have the worst behaved children at church as retribution for our self righteous "We could do soooooo much better" attitude that we always had about the children's behavior around us and their parent's reaction to it. Our kids are pretty well behaved at least I think so. Doug would completely disagree seeing as how he spends most of his time in the back of the church with Me Too. She, at 2 years old, of course has a really difficult time. Big Bear does a great job at Mass and has since she turned 3. We usually have them in Preschool CCD and nursery though so it doesn't affect us too much. But, for the times when we do have to bring the kids along to church...I just love Will Duquette's attitude towards offering the distractions up in an effort to really participate in the sacrifice of the Mass.

Now I just have to actually make it to Mass and put this into practice. I know, I know...your jaws are dropping, your heart is sinking, the disbelief is slowly sinking in. Stevie hasn't been to church? I am just having a really hard time making it out of the house to go anywhere these days. I did fine making it to Mass with the girls when they were infants but no such luck this time. Maybe it is the fact that having the two older ones to get ready too seems so overwhelming - even with Dad's help. I think it actually has a lot more to do with the fact that I am really allowing myself to take more time to recover and not get too stressed out like I did with the other two newborns. I've always had a complex about seeing other moms out and about with newborns very soon after delivering. It always seems to me that everyone else can get out of the house so easily while it takes me a good month or so to even feel up to trying to take on the thought of getting out. The newborn's eating schedule make it hard because by the time they finish eating, you only have a little while before they eat again. In this particular case, Campo is having some trouble latching as well so we have the issue of me not being able to nurse very discreetly yet. In the past, I pushed myself and tried to get out an about like normal. It really took a toll on my physical and mental health. This time I'm just not doing that to myself.

I do plan to venture out into the world very soon. Perhaps (and hopefully) tonight to the anticipatory Holy Day of Obligation Mass. We'll see. Whenever I do make it, I resolve to do a better job of letting the distractions of the Mass make me a part of the experience instead of taking me out of it.


nicole said...

One of the many blessings of having more than one child is the ability to finally tell ourselves we are doing okay. While I still compare myself to other moms, I am much more able to say that I know what is right for our family. And I have never been able to nurse discreetly, which could be a problem with this baby and our church. We have no nursery anymore. I will have to go my car to nurse during Mass. Bummer.

I know Husband and I are harder on our kids than some people would be during Mass, but it has helped immensely. We also made the bold move to the front of the church, and that has even helped Monster (2years old) behave better. You might try it sometime--you never know what will work.

I hope you are feeling good. Love to see the baby pictures--what a handsome boy!

Andrea said...

I have been feeling horrible about going to Mass. I don't even want to go because the two year old wants in the back, I have to go to the back to nurse Amelia and I hate nursing in the pew. I just don't want to be there. I know that's terrible so I'm going to read the articles you mentioned. I know my children need to be there with me and we keep going but it's really hard sometimes.

Stevie said...

Nicole - nursing in the car - whee! at least it will be a little warmer. I remember nursing in the bathroom at church once - not fun but better than the car!

Andrea - I hope the articles help you like they helped me. It doesn't make it any easier but it does help. And I shouldn't complain because nursery and preschool CCD start up this weekend so that takes care of 2 of the 3! Good luck!